![]() ![]() If you choose a path that would devastate you if its outcome were unsuccessful, it may not be a wise choice. Will you still be confident in your choice next week, or next year? What if you realize that you made a mistake? Can you survive even if you feel like you failed? It’s important to weigh the cost of failure, but it’s also important to assess our resiliency and coping skills when things don’t work out the way we had hoped. Tough decisions mean you’re not only looking at what will happen right away, but also considering the longer-term results of your choice. If a close friend of yours came to you for your opinion on a decision like this, what would you tell them? Changing your perspective can sometimes make your feelings more clear. (This list can also be a good reminder when your set due date arrives!) Pretend you're advising a friend Having everything on paper can help solidify your feelings about the good and bad things each choice has to offer. Writing out the potential pros and cons of a given decision can help you clarify whether option A is better than option B. Make a pros & cons listĮven when making day-to-day decisions, most of us quickly weigh the pros and cons of our options. Make the best decision you can make in the moment. Give yourself a set amount of time and then, one by one, cross off the things that don’t make sense for you. ![]() If you are overwhelmed with too many options, take a piece of paper and write a list of the decisions you could make. It’s totally ok to not have an answer right now, but setting a due date for yourself can keep you moving forward. Whether you need a few hours or a few months to weigh your options, you deserve to take the time to make the right choice for yourself. Setting a due date for when you will make the decision can help things feel less indefinite. Try asking yourself some questions to help you figure out how you feel about the situation, like: If I don’t do this now, will I regret it? What am I afraid of? What does my gut say? What am I really doing this for? Who am I really doing this for? Will I like myself after this decision? and Can I cope with the fall-out? Set a due date Ask yourself what you like (or don’t like) about your current situation. When you find yourself stuck between two options, think about what you want. Even if there are two choices that seem to make sense (like picking between taking summer courses or going backpacking right after graduation), the real reason you might be unable to make up your mind is that neither option is what you really want. Sometimes you’re not happy with any of the options in front of you because they’re not right for who you are. What goes into a decision? Figure out what you really want Try one, or try them all! Keep in mind, though, that if the decision you’re trying to make is whether to break up with your abusive partner, you might consider talking to a love is respect advocate about how to do that safely before you act. So if you’ve got a tough choice to make (like deciding if you should talk to that cute guy in your algebra class, or telling your bff that you have feelings for them), we have some tips and tricks that might help. But many of the things we think are when trying to choose something – a career, say – are things we can’t know, and that’s where the agonising comes in.” As if the answer were a scientific fact, and all you had to do was roll up your sleeves and figure it out. Ruth Chang (a professor from Rutgers University and an expert on tough choices) says that “one misconception people have about hard choices is that there has to be a correct, best answer out there. We understand that making a decision can be tricky when you’re trying figure out if something is a great opportunity, or if it’s just too risky. You are the expert in your situation, and you are the only person who can decide what is right for you. ![]() However, it’s important to remember that no one else is living your life you are. We always recommend that you trust your gut instincts, but getting feedback from people who care about you can be helpful, too. Making a decision can be hard, especially if there is no clear, “right” answer. And for some decisions (like whether you’re ready for sex, if going to college is the right choice for you, what to do about a pregnancy, or whether to tell your family you’re bisexual), you might need to do a lot of thinking and soul-searching. Some decisions can affect other people, like how fast we choose to drive. Some are fairly easy, like what to eat or wear. ![]()
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